where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
