and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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