They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
