Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
