i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
