his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
