I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
