nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
