i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
