FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
