She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
