Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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