it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
