i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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