Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
