I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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