Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
