So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
