is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
