cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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