I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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