No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
