hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
