If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
