their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
