Your face is a jimmy john
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
