I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
