Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
