No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
