Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
