I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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