Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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