i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
