I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
