lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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