Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
