By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
