i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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