Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
