As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
