I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
