I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
