its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
