I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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