After last night, I could never be a politician.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
