he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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