We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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