thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
