i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
