I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
