dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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