apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
